Marriage can be tough. But for better or for worse, these marriage jokes and wedding puns will have you doubling over laughing. Check out our collection of love jokes for an extra laugh. When people hear that my husband and I just celebrated our 60th wedding anniversary, they inevitably ask us the secret to our long, successful marriage. The graveside service had just ended when there was a frightening clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning accompanied by even louder thunder.
Does a woman’s high-status career hurt her marriage? not if her husband does the laundry
A police officer in a small town stopped a driver speeding down the main street. The driver said he could explain why he was speeding, but the police officer said he was going to put him in jail until the Chief got back, but lucky for the driver that the chief will be in a good mood because he is at his daughter's wedding.
The driver said, "Don't count on it. I'm the groom. My sister Tina was telling her husband, Kay, about a wonderful program she had watched on TV. The show gave a national award to heroic people who put themselves in grave danger to help out someone they hardly knew.
Every man wants a beautiful wife, a smart wife, a loving wife, a sexy wife, and a cooperative wife. Sadly, bigamy is against the law. If a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing — either the car is new or the wife is. He made an appointment with the dean of admissions at a university.
We are no longer supporting IE Internet Explorer as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Search terms Search form submit button. Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember. Funny Examples of Irony in Real Life. Our Hardest Riddles Ever. My husband and I were daydreaming about what we would do if we won the lottery.
I already have one of those. As my wife and I prepared for our garage sale, I came across a painting. I love you … Keith. I was perusing the shelves at a bookstore when a customer asked an employee where the birding section was.
Hilariously Literal Anti-Jokes. Then one day, Garrick came home on their wedding anniversary. Where did you get them? A local lumberyard was having an open house, and my mother really wanted to go. Dad, though, had no interest. Marriage Counselor: So, what brings you here today? Wife: He takes everything literally. Husband: My truck.
Samantha and naga chaitanya ‘part ways as husband and wife’: ‘our friendship will always hold a special bond between us’
His reason for doing so? She can have that too! His reason for doing I just read that 4, people got married last year. A man goes to the doctor, concerned about his wife's hearing. The doctor says, "Stand behind her and say something and tell me how close you are when she hears you. About 15 feet away he says, "Honey, what's for dinner? He gets halfway to her and repeats the same question.
Very concerned, he gets right behind her and asks again "What's for dinner? I dreamed I was rocking a baby to sleep. My wife keeps telling everyone that she can read their minds, but she never can.
Spiritual relationship between husband and wife
In response, my husband will Q: Why did the dead man divorce his dead wife? A: Because she was frigid. The little old man My husband talks in his sleep. Unfortunately, he also snores, so I sometimes give him the wifely elbow. He did as instructed and while doing so muttered, "That's nothing; you should hear my wife snore.
The woman shoves her husband toward the dentist. Show him your tooth.
A husband and wife were dining at a 5-star restaurant. When their food arrived, the husband said: "Our food has arrived! Let's eat!
Here the chef knows how to cook Conversation between a pharmacist and a female customer: Woman: "I need to buy some arsenic. I want to kill my husband! Q: What did the cannibal's wife do when her husband came home an hour late for dinner? A: She gave him the cold shoulder. The driver said he could explain why he was speeding, but the police officer said One night, a dieting woman made a cake for the church potluck.
Temptation got the best of her, and she ate it—all of it. Embarrassed, she then made a second cake. Her husband never suspected a thing—especially since she ate a piece out of the second cake too. Her husband Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
Wife: "Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don't you do that? I don't even know her.
The show gave a national award to heroic people who put themselves in Q: If love is "grand," what is divorce? A: A hundred grand, or more. Q: Whats the difference between love and marriage? A: Love is blind and marriage is an eye-opener! My son wanted to know what it's like to be married. I told him to leave me alone and when he did, I asked him why he was ignoring me.
Son: What's the difference between love and marriage? Father: Love is blind. Marriage is an eye opener. If I have to choose between a husband and shoes, I choose shoes. They tend to last longer and are easier to replace. Wife: Do you want dinner? Husband: Sure, what are my choices?