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Sheldon, Leonard, Howard and Raj are using laptops. All are wearing microphone heets. Howard: Alright, just a few more feet, and….

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Leonard : Hey, what's going on? Sheldon : Internet's been down for half an hour.

Koothrappali : Also, Sheldon may be a robot. Sheldon : Good lord! Leonard : Don't panic, this is what the last 97 hours have been about. Howard Wolowitz : Stay frosty. There's a horde of armed goblins on the other side of that gate guarding the Sword Of Azeroth.

Leonard : Warriors, unsheathe your weapons. Magic wielders, raise your wands. Sheldon : Lock and load. Howard Wolowitz : Raj, blow the gates. Raj Koothrappali : Blowing the gates. Raj Koothrappali : Control, shift, B. Raj Koothrappali : Oh my God, so many goblins! Howard Wolowitz : Don't just stand there, slash and move! Slash and move! Leonard : Stay in formation! Howard Wolowitz : Leonard, you've got one on your tail!

Leonard : That's all right, my tail's prehensile, I'll swat him off! Raj Koothrappali : I got him Leonard.

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Tonight, I spice my meat with goblin blood! Leonard : Raj, no, it's a trap! Thay're flanking us! Raj Koothrappali : [in a wimpy tone] Oh, he's got me. Howard Wolowitz : Sheldon, he's got Raj, use your sleep spell! Howard Wolowitz : Sheldon! Sheldon : I've got the Sword Of Azeroth! Leonard : Forget the sword Sheldon, help Raj. Sheldon : There is no more Sheldon! I am the sword master! Howard Wolowitz : Leonard look out! Leonard : Damn it man, we're dying here! Sheldon : Goodbye peasents. Leonard : The bastard teleported. Leonard : You betrayed us for money?

Who are you? Wolowitz : Sheldon, if you were a robot, and I knew and you didn't, would you want me to tell you? Sheldon : That depends. When I learn that I'm a robot, will I be able to handle it?

Wolowitz : Maybe, although the history of science fiction is not on your side. Koothrappali : You might be bound by them right now.

Wolowitz : That's true. Have you ever harmed a human being, or, through inaction, allowed a human being to come to harm?

Series 01 episode 03 – the fuzzy boots corollary

Sheldon : Of course not. Koothrappali : Have you ever harmed yourself or allowed yourself to be harmed except in cases where a human being would've been endangered? Sheldon : Well, no. Wolowitz : I smell robot. Sheldon : Oh, come on, Leonard This is obviously about Penny. Leonard : It doesn't matter. The woman's not interested in me.

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The woman rejected me. Sheldon : Okay, look. I think that you have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny as the Hubble telescope does of discovering at the center of every black hole is a little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker. Nevertheless, I do feel obligated to point out to you that she did not reject you. You did not ask her out.

Leonard : You're right. I didn't ask her out. I should ask her out. Sheldon : No, no, no. That was not my point. My point was, don't buy a cat.

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Leonard : I didn't like the look of the guy that she was with. Wolowitz : Because he looks better than you? Leonard : Yeah. He was kind of dreamy. Sheldon : Well, at least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her and analyze the data so that you don't crash into geek mountain again. He enters with headphones on singing "Boston" by Augustana, badly].

Leonard : 'She said you don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah Sheldon : Oh, good Lord. Leonard : 'She said you don't know me, you don't wear my chaaaiiins, oh yeah Leonard : That's a good song! Sheldon : If you're compiling a mix CD for a double suicide.

Leonard : I'm a perfectly nice guy!

There's no reason we couldn't go to the restaurant and have a lovely dinner. Maybe we could go for a walk afterwards, talk about things we have in common: You love pottery? I love pottery! There's a pause-we both know what's happening-I lean in and we kiss; it's a little tentative at first, but then I realize she's kissing me back and she's biting my lower lip, you know?

She wants me! This thing is going the distance, we're going to have sex! Oh, God, oh my GOD! Sheldon : Is the sex starting now? Sheldon : Do you really think that your relationship needs will be fulfilled by a genetically altered cat?