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Catching up with an ex

By Chris Seiter. When you enter the No Contact period, you may feel like your first contact, let alone a meet up, will never happen.


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It's common to feel nostalgic about an old relationship. You might find yourself daydreaming about good times you had, or thinking about what you could have done differently to make it work.

Maybe you even wish you were still in touch with that person. After all, they were an important part of your life. It's hard to let that go. Reaching out to an ex is something that happens often, but it's not something that should be done without a lot of thought.

If an ex girlfriend wants to “catch up” what does it mean?

No matter if you want to get in touch to see if you can rekindle your romantic relationship, start a friendship or just get some closure, there are important things to consider first to protect both you and the other person from being hurt. Why do you want to get in touch with your ex? Knowing the answer to this question is important for navigating the situation.

Make sure you aren't just lonely, or bored, or wanting attention. If you are hoping to rekindle what you had, make sure your ex isn't in a relationship before reaching out, said Stef Safrana Chicago-based matchmaker and dating coach. Tessinapsychotherapist and author of " Dr. Romance's Guide to Finding Love Today.

Once you know you really do want to be in contact again, "unless the ex has demanded that you not contact him or her, or has a restraining order, it's OK to contact him or her with some kind of neutral message," Tessina said. In fact, being on good terms "can be a very good idea," she said, "if you both can be mature about the relationship and not continue fighting over what went wrong.

That being said, make sure you have closure on your breakup before reaching out. You'll only be able to have a high-quality conversation once both of you have gone through the grief and arrived at a place of emotional maturity about what transpired.

What to consider before having coffee with your ex

From that place, rebuilding is made much more possible. When you're reaching out, start slow. Don't "overwhelm someone" with lots of texts, Safran said. Instead, if you're hoping to meet up to talk, "focus on the goal of getting together in person to see if there is potential to build on the initial relationship," she said.

Keep your communication simple, and focus on setting a date and a time for a meeting.

And if you reach out and "don't get a response, don't keep pursuing it," Tessina said. It's really, really hard — maybe even impossible — but try to not have expectations about your meetup.

There's a strong possibility it won't go anywhere, either friendship-wise or romantically. In the end, we belong to no one and no one owes us anything. Touching base and catching up is sometimes all a person wants to do with an ex, especially if there are residual negative emotions there.

If you do become romantically involved again, tread lightly — it might not lead to a full-fledged relationship. The comfort of being with someone you already know can be very seductive. This can cause a potential pitfall, Safran said.

If an ex girlfriend wants to “catch up” what does it mean?

If you do end up rebuilding either a friendship or a romantic relationshipremember the importance of boundary-setting when you're getting to know each other again. Moreck shared five things to look out for when opening communication with an ex:.

Love Work Money Living Health. January 9, Love.

Why would an ex boyfriend want to meet up?

Figure out your feelings Why do you want to get in touch with your ex? Katie Moritz was Rewire's senior editor from She is a Pisces who enjoys thrift stores and pho. Follow her on Twitter katecmoritz. For a better life and a brighter future.

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