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Cumming without touching yourself

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Good news, right? Apparently the more you blow your load, the better for your health! And speaking of blowing a load, some men might automatically think they need the help of a partner or a pair of hands to do so. Yes, you heard that right, chief! Think hands free but for your penis! However, there is more to it than meets the eye!

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Many of us have woken up from a sexy dream, throbbing with excitement. Some of us are even luckier, and can climax from nipple stimulationor dry humping, or even intense genital-free makeouts. Sex worker, artist, sexologist, and world-famous sex legend Annie Sprinkle details seven types of female orgasm on her website, including some that happen without touch.

But when my friend—an everyday, sex-positive lady—told me she could have orgasms without touching herself, I had to learn more. Being the intrepid journalist that I am, I had to get to the bottom of this. Is it possible to orgasm without genital contact?

And if so—how could I get in on it? When Beverly Whipple learned some women could have no-touch orgasms, she was as amazed as me. A pioneering sex researcher and professor emerita at Rutgers University, Whipple deed a study.

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The women who came without genital touch experienced the same increased heart rate, the same pupil dilation, and same increased pain tolerance as when masturbating. The same parts of their brains lit up. For answers, I called up Barbara Carrellas. A Cumming coach, writer, and speaker, Carrellas turned to yourself sexual practices in the late s, at the height of the AIDS epidemic. Tantra is a set of practices and beliefs that are touching of the broad, diverse cultural sweep of Hinduism. In South Asia, it historically advocated the breaking of dominant taboos around the body — including eating meat, having taboo sex, interacting with dead bodies, and breaking ritual caste taboos — to achieve spiritual awareness.

In the contemporary West, tantra is often reduced to its sexual aspect, and has been largely commercialized. But in the late s, tantric sexual practices represented a much-needed connection to physical and spiritual pleasure for a community ravaged by stigma and disease. Carrellas studied tantra as part of a support group for people with AIDS and those who loved them. They use a combination of breath, sound, visualization, and movement to move energy through the body and achieve ecstatic experience without direct genital contact.

They happen everywhere except your genitals. Carrellas has been using this technique to facilitate without pleasure and healing for decades. She le workshops with people who have spinal cord injuries, cliteredectomies, or other conditions that present a challenge to clitoral orgasm.

Her sessions with college students, sexual assault survivors, and people with gender dysphoria that have brought participants to tears, evoked ecstatic laughter, and even inspired one attendee to dump her date. Well, not directly. We chatted on the phone for a while, and then she passed along a set of written instructions so I could try them out.

Ejacu-what?

You can purchase a guided meditation if you want to try it yourself. Mid-morning in my empty apartment, I went for it. Carrellas says to begin by lying flat on your back with your knees up, and breathe in seamless cycles.

Each inhale should begin where the last exhale finishes, so that the breath is connected in a continuous stream. With each exhale, you press your lower back directly to the ground and squeeze your PC muscles. As you breathe, you allow energy to climb up your chakras, focusing on each place step by step — first your perineum, then your lower abdomen, then your solar plexus, all the way up to your third eye.

I was on track by the time I got to my solar plexus. I rocked and rolled, I breathed in waves, I pressed my lower back to the floor. Moans came and I went with them. Things started heating up. The energy was climbing, my breath speeding, my heart pounding, waves of pleasure sizzling, and then — I reached for my vibrator. Some may call this a failure of the method. It turned me on. It connected me to my body.

What matters is that I felt good and had an orgasm.

Beverly Whipple had beat me to this realization by several decades. Touch-free orgasm is not some esoteric, out-of-reach, super-secret technique. And there was something different about the orgasm I had that morning. After this one, though, I felt charged up. It was a reminder that and forgive the cliche whatever magic we seek from sex is already in ourselves.

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Most of the time — especially in the brutal rat race of patriarchal capitalism — we try to break that ceiling by striving. We think that if we only push, force, exert, will, or do more, we can experience more pleasure, better love, a better version of ourselves.

It requires letting go. Learn actionable strategies for touching stress and focusing on your pleasure in the on-demand yourselfled by Shadeen Francis, LMFT. By entering youryou are agreeing to our terms and conditions and fully understand our privacy policy. By entering youryou are agreeing to our terms and understand our privacy policy.

Subscribe to our newsletter for unlimited access to Swell. You can unsubscribe at any time. Already a member? to verify your subscription. Genital and all-body. The energy was climbing, my breath speeding, my heart pounding, waves of pleasure sizzling. Reina Gattuso is a feminist journalist covering food, sex, and politics. Share: Facebook icon Twitter icon. Swell in your inbox, every week Newsletter Up. More from Sexual Wellness. Sexual Wellness A Guide to Masturbating in Water Masturbating in without can open you up to whole new ways of feeling pleasure.

Sexual Cumming What is Orgasmic Birth? Orgasmic birth is a pleasurable and rewarding birth experience that can result in orgasm.

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Orgasm denial is the practice of staving off orgasms to intensify erotic tension. Get more like this in your inbox Newsletter Up. Close Icon Sexual wellness stories in your inbox, every week. Newsletter Up .