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I want my husband to spank me

So last night my husband thought I had no interest in sex and had no intention of initiating it. I had one watery eye that I had attractively rubbed all the make-up off, a scratchy throat from post nasal drip and a stuffed up nose.

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So you want to be spanked. No, there are much better methods for getting your boyfriend to accommodate your spanking needs.

How old am I: 48
Ethnic: I'm turkish
What I prefer to drink: Beer
Smoker: Yes

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I returned to our bedroom. JP was on the edge of his seat, literally, with his hands clasped and the concentrated and weary look of trying to be prepared for nearly anything splashed across his face. I started by smiling. First, I love you sooooo much.

Over the last ten years, you have grown to be my best friend and my rock. I also need you to know that I love and respect myself immensely.

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I am worthy of love and respect, loyalty and honesty. I feel that I am intelligent, talented and worthy of a partner that cherishes me. You are driven, capable, strong and strategic. You are worthy of love, respect, loyalty and honesty. I have been dishonest…not in any huge way, I have been faithful, but in a lot of small ways that break down our barriers to communication and degrade the quality of our relationship.

But, I feel like I blamed the majority of it on you for a long time.

We have some big issues. We fight way more than is necessary. When one of us starts a fight, the other one is immediately defensive and lashes back.

The ins and outs of my journey with my husband into our domestic discipline lifestyle!

As soon as one of us feels attacked, the barrage of low-ball insults and hurtful memories not only surface, they explode. I have spent a lot of time thinking over the last year and a half. I know it was incredibly hard for you to understand, and incredibly hard for us to handle financially.

You were patient as I developed a business plan and are still being patient as I get it up and running.

The important things to me? Even though you were initially resistant, you never gave up on me. When I was low and struggling, you never left me. I get to be creative, I get to fulfill my passion…. I am making money and continuing to move forward and I absolutely could not have done it without you.

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I feel like I could do better. No, I know I could do better. The issues that continue to plague me are things that bother you too. I know we could work on it together.

1. ask him directly

We have goals and we are both able. Sometimes, I have a hard time holding myself able. That sucks. Then, when you say anything, I get all defensive, bring up the things I do right and make you feel like shit for saying anything. The way I talk to you sometimes is so unacceptable and emasculating.

I think it is totally unacceptable, bratty behavior that has to stop. He agreed and had that sexy, stern look on his face. But, there was no judgement there. This part was so humbling. This is honestly where the name of my Blog, HumbledPink, came from. I know my cheeks were bright pink with embarrassment while admitting my faults and suggesting that I, a grown woman, would want my husband to spank me, paddle me, correct my behavior, make decisions for our family and demand respect, obedience and fulfillment from me.

Little did I know, several weeks from now, my other cheeks would be humbled pink…, then red.

1. ask him directly

Trying to hone in on where those desires were coming from. He nodded. His demeanor was very much in control.

The look on his face denoted the utmost respect for me; a kind, gentle look of understanding, security and trust. That look, in that moment, was the most calming and penetrating look that he maybe has ever given me. I will never forget it; I had his complete attention.

My vulnerability was alluring and my honesty and admission of my own faults was earning additional respect. He was continuing to make me feel more comfortable continuing. To me, the element missing throughout is the intimacy. When I honed in on what I was looking for, it was submission and discipline. I paused for a moment and looked around, letting the silence fill my ears and truly feeling my submission in my heart before saying what I needed to say.

I want to give up my power and trust you.

Spank me…please!

I want you to make the decisions and trust you to do so. I would like to end the power struggle and disrespect. I am expected to obey, submit and be held able for my actions. If I throw a fit, I am punished.

If I yell, am rude or disrespectful, I am punished. In return, I get your love, respect and to be cherished by you. My submission is a gift to you and your guidance, love and honor is a gift to me. And, of course, none of this means I am a doormat or servant.

I am still capable of making decisions and lending opinions — I am just going to let you make the final decisions and be okay with that. Also, I know this is a lot to take in. It has been a lot for me to take in. If you are open to it, I will send you some articles and information I found so that you can see how other people have done things and see where we can personalize it.

So, hopefully you think I am brave and not ridiculous, being a grown woman asking to be spanked. I paused again. It takes a lot of guts to admit your faults and ask for help. It was really honest and I think that alone will help us move to another level.

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I also know that something does have to change. I could never find the right solution either. I never would have thought of this, but it is an interesting approach. I never want to change you.

I love you. I just want to make that clear. It is entirely different and I think that its important to note that. This is my choice; s omething I need as a woman and as a submissive woman who wants leadership, not a Daddy. The thought of ending the play for power and holding ourselves able. And the fact that I spank you if I need to. It makes me feel like I have a certain amount of recourse. It is the most emotionally arousing feeling I have ever experienced.

I feel like having an emotional orgasm. We discussed it for a little while longer and then I left him alone to sleep. It was hard for me to sleep.