The song is about a stalker, someone who watches every single thing their partner does or wants to do and takes away their freedom. In such a relationship, a person might feel safe and loved at first, in a secure space, but that space quickly turns into a prison.
I think you already know all you need to. In the kind of relationship you describe—of possessor and possessed—both partners are insecure. You ask if you should leave. I ask why you need to ask. What do you want to do? I suggest that you seek professional help and a support group so you can learn to listen to yourself, act on your true needs and desires, and develop better, healthier relationships that will help you honor your own inner guide and grow. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message.
The if not then I think it might be time to find a new girl. This one might take a while to shake but it might be healthire for you to cut your losses now. My son grew up with a loving mother and brother. The girlfriend grew up with a drunk drug addict mother who birthed 4 children each with a different father and all raised by the grandmother. My son flat out stated the GF is jealouse of my sons upbringing because she did not have the same.
My sons and I had a close relationship. Girls always wanted to feel secure with their boyfriends. You should be thankful to have a girlfriend that wanted to be with you all the time.
That simply means she loves you. If you really love that girl, you must stay but of course make her understand that you also need some time as an individual. You have got to talk about this. Find out where her insecurities stem from and see how you can work to better that,if you are interested in the relationship of course. Otherwise there is no thinking needed, you know what to do!
Ask yourself what you have contributed to this situation. Why is your girlfriend insecure? Make sure that you let her know how much you appreciate her. Also ask yourself if you will miss her when shes gone. You told her you would be doing one thing and then went and did another.
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Maybe she had someone else in her life to do this to her and come to find out he was actually cheating on her. Or maybe there has been this pattern of unpredictability in her life for a very long time and the things that are going on with the two of you now in your relationship together are reminding her of things that have happened to her in the past. If this is worth holding onto then perhaps the two of you could seek out some counseling together. It depends on how much you really want to make this work.
I agree that if 2 people want to work it out and have that difficulty talking to each other then therapy is required, but i dont agree with the fact that she is allowed to go and spend time with friends, and just because he finished an hour earlier than expected, he caught up with a friend. Surely it works both ways she was seeing her friend and he was seeing his until she was free. And sometimes plans change. So what? That makes you feel guilty for no reason. Just read this again. Does this in any way sound like a healthy relationship starter to you? What is she afraid might happen, that you will go away anyway?
This level of interference is really surprising! You say you haven cheated. This is just not acceptable no matter how much you love her coz this is illogical. You better watch out!
For example, are you still keeping in touch with an ex or are you very secretive with her about something. See if you can get her to see that the problem is her not you, that she needs to get help. If she is willing to admit that she has a problem during a calm sharing even if in a fit of jealousy she goes back to blaming you then get her to commit to getting help. Some people claim that they have been cured of jealousy with one session of effective hypnotherapy but it has to be the right kind0. Good luck to you and God bless. It sounds like her fears perhaps abandonment issues?
Hopefully she is not hitting you when she becomes angry.
That would constitute for physical abuse as well. And if she is, well, you are not alone.
That is unhealthy and unrealistic. Can I suggest that you learn the components of a healthy and unhealthy relationship? You can easily google this information. If you decide to stay, remind yourself that love is kind, love is respect and love is trust. Her behavior sounds more like an obsession, or that of one who needs to control her partner rather than that of love. Maybe you can suggest for her to talk to a therapist about her need to control were you are and who you are with. Perhaps even self esteem support groups might work for her.
Just ask for mental health services that suit your needs i. Remember, you do not have a magic wand to change anyone but yourself. You deserve a healthy relationship. Good luck! Yes she has controlling issues and that may not be your fault. She might have become like that due to family issues or ex-boyfriend issues. Speaking from personal experience, you must feel that you are being manipulated by her and has lost all your privacy and livelihood. I would like to ask you if you are alright with being dominated by her. Is she worth it? Do not expect her to change even after counseling, even if she agreed to change.
She is suited for someone who has a weak personality and do not mind being controlled. Are you willing to change into that person? If not, i suggest you run as far as possible. Not always but, what have you said or done to create or contribute to her insecurities?
If you love her, try to help her. It deserves a conversation, with her.
If you're not pooping around someone, you don't trust that person
I can certainly empathize with how difficult it must be for you to be in this relationship but you have been for four years, so there must be something there for you. I would encourage you to seek an Imago Couples Therapist, as it appears that this intense behavior and suspicion on her part stems form early childhood wounds. In Imago couples are taught how to understand and relate in a way that is healing of the past hurts. I wish you the best whether you leave or stay and work it out.
I do believe in setting limits on how we allow others to treat us. When you do this you help her learn and grow. Dear Change- Your name is apt- you need a change, and you know it. Therapy can sometimes be more affordable than you think, and I suggest you explore therapists, schools for therapists, social workers, agencies, etc.
Take care and good luck! I need help. I wake up and go to sleep feeling like this.