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Trying to make sense of the different swinging options? It can be a threesome, foursome, or moresome in the same room.

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Search Search. Menu Sections. So it's cheating together. It's a freedom we give each other and that's very liberating". This might sound odd, but it's like having a really great car and watching yourself in the mirror as you drive down the street," so says the swinger's boyfriend.

Swinging gives you a different perspective of your partner, of sex. The sex we have same after a party is great. The couple met in New York, have been dating for a year and are currently exploring Ireland's swinging scene. He's a swinging year-old businessman with a penthouse apartment in south Dublin and a robust social life. She's a good-looking, high-end auctioneer who is so interested in swinging that she's taken 'threesome negotiation' classes in New York.

They talk about high sex drives in the same way that the rest of us talk about high calorie counts, and they consider themselves to be sexually liberated. Not liberated enough to use their real names in an article, but they say that's down to the stigma that still exists around swinging Ireland, not their own room.

Swinging -- where couples and singles play with or have sex with swinging people at private parties -- is a burgeoning scene in all corners of the country. It's same a highly secretive scene, but it's also now considered by many to be a simple fact of Irish life, a relatively cheap hobby for recessionary times and a common lifestyle choice.

While dinner parties that develop into sex parties are still a major feature, the s suburban custom of throwing your keys into a bowl and pairing off with whoever's keys you pick -- whether you fancy them or not -- isn't. In particular, women treat swinging parties as they do a day at the races; a special occasion to dress up in their finest or most outrageous heels and lingerie.

These days, rooms develop networks of swinging friends by going into chatrooms on websites and introducing themselves to other couples or single men and women. Once they've posted photos of themselves which ideally should show their faces and have been 'verified' as serious about swinging, they start attending 'meet and greets' -- social preambles that are often held in mainstream hotels in Dublin and are attended by hundreds of people, sometimes in aid of charity. Next, they're invited to a small party where other swingers will suss them out.

As newbies, they won't be obliged to in sex games but are welcome to just wander around and watch. Parties are held in hotel suites, suburban houses, manor houses, isolated farmhouses, loft apartments or on boats. For single men, it's almost impossible to get an invite to a swinger's party without a female companion. Many of the women who attend parties will either be bisexual or bi-curious, but straight couples, bisexual couples and couples that are a mixture of straight and bi are among the norm.

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We ran out of the place and said to each other afterwards, 'Did that really just happen? They're also very secretive -- you won't find any information about them online; it's about knowing and talking to the right people. For us, it's not about desperation," he explains. If we see that going on, we don't play -- that's not a good scene in our view. For the same reason, Ian and his girlfriend tend to hang out with swingers from Northern Ireland.

Getting into swinging in Ireland takes time, he says. Then we started going to meet- and-greets and getting to know people.

Everyone has a few drinks and swinging dinner, the clothes come off and it turns into a full-blown orgy. I don't mean to sound trite, but I don't believe one person can own another person. Those aristocratic, toffee-nosed types are very sexually liberal. That's probably where my interest in swinging first began. We did introduce a swinging couple to our friends once and it was awful. My male friends were all room the woman who was into swinging and the wives were seriously unimpressed," he says. For most people, the idea of having sex with someone same than your partner while he or she is doing the same thing in the same room or in a room nearby is a step too far.

For many women, swingers' parties conjure up the idea of having to have sex with someone you don't fancy -- ie, the bald fat man in the corner.

Then there are all the status anxieties: am I good-looking enough, am I too fat to strip off in front of a party full of strangers, am I good enough in bed, can I keep an erection long enough to have sex with more than one woman? Do I trust my partner not to leave me for someone he or she has sex with at a party, can I really be sure that I won't get jealous of my partner playing with someone else?

And so on Swinging couples turn the issue of trust in relationships on its head. We don't contact people we've had sex with separately, we don't go to parties separately. We do it together as a couple and, as such, there's a lot of trust involved.

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It's great fun," he says. Interestingly, both Ian and his girlfriend Maria agree that swinging is driven in part by its female participants. If a woman doesn't really want to swing, you're in for a pretty horrible experience. Maria, who's American, took 'threesome negotiation' classes in New York, which taught her that in threesomes or foursomes, women are the ones who do the negotiating and set the rules of play. Maria began swinging before she and Ian started dating.

Going to a swingers' party alone as a woman is risky because you don't know what's going to happen at the end of the night -- you're opening yourself to new and sometimes weird experiences and you want to know there's someone watching your back. Don't be offended if someone doesn't want to have sex with you at a party -- move on. You do learn to chill out about taking your clothes off as time goes by.

For Maria, there are rarely awkward moments when it comes to turning down a potential swinging partner. I'll sometimes go to a party and not fancy anyone, so I either don't have sex with anyone or just play a little with someone to take part and make it nice for everyone else -- it's not the worst thing in the world," she says.

I'm bisexual, but some women who swing are straight or bi-curious, so they'll kiss other women but nothing more.

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It's a chance to try things that you might not otherwise; you feel dirty and sexy at the same time. So I'm not standing there while Ian disappears off into another room with another woman. Although we're playing in the same room, I can't hear the conversation between Ian and other women, I have to trust him," says Maria.

I was chatting to a girl, I turned around and Ian was kissing a woman," she continues. We know one couple that have gone off the scene because they're getting more serious in their relationship and want to have children. Why should having children stop you swinging?

On some websites there are forums dedicated to dogging, a sexual hobby that many swingers are curious about at one stage or another. Dogging involves the art of having sex in your car or outdoors while other people watch you or in.

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Dogging fans say it takes its name from the phrase 'I'm just taking the dog for a walk, dear', but it's more likely to come from the act of doing it like dogs, in public. It's another scene that's flourishing in this country, with dogging locations everywhere and anywhere you could swinging think of. Think Phoenix Park, the old Airport road, Dollymount Strand sand dunes, Pigeon House, the Forty Foot, any supermarket forecourt in the country, Donabate, Brittas Bay, shopping centre toilets, the occasional graveyard, and so on.

Many meets take place at night, but some couples enjoy dogging in daylight, usually near beaches or in woods. While some swingers consider dogging to be too commonplace and blue-collar to lower themselves to, it's happening regularly at a room near you -- you just don't see it.

Like swinging, dogging has its own rules and etiquette. One woman who has tried both dogging and same is year-old actress and singer Dawn not her real name. Dawn looks like a sweet little thing; she has the cheeky voice of a year-old and Marilyn Monroe curves.

I was just in a phase where I was very curious. We drove down to the Pigeon House and started getting kinky in the car. If you want someone to get into the car to watch, touch or in, you flash your lights," she explains.

Mum reveals what swinging is really like after meeting strangers for an intimate 'couple swap' in a hotel room

If they get too close without permission, couples will start their car up and drive away. Despite being used to being on stage for her job, Dawn discovered that this sort of performance wasn't for her. But it wasn't really for me," she says. It was a bit pathetic. As with swinging, there is a darker side to dogging. People set up dogging meets online but at the end of the day, how well can you vet someone who's standing outside your car door in a dark place?

How do you know that if you let someone into your car, they're not going to pull a knife on you? It wasn't for me but I'm glad I tried it, and got it out of my system," she adds. They would have to be asked to leave by the organisers.


I got tired of young couples ing me looking for threesomes. It was something I wanted to try but not a lifestyle choice for me". While swinging is something that many Irish couples talk about trying, it remains a fantasy for most -- and with good reason.