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The 'lifestyle' -- real-life wife swaps

But we found couples who say they have found a way to enjoy the company of others without the deception. It's called the "lifestyle," or swinging, an arrangement in which couples have sex with other couples, and there is no secrecy. Brian and Olga Depenbrock got married four years ago. Now they run a business together, and after work they like to go to a club in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. Trapeze looks like other nightclubs, with a dance floor, buffet, bar.

But it's not like other clubs, because in back there's a locker swinger where couples can get undressed and, if they want, have sex in different bedrooms with other couples -- or watch one another in hot tubs. It's called swinging or the "lifestyle. Chris, who takes part in the lifestyle style his wife, Lavonne, said, "I don't want to be 85 years old, looking back on my life, like, 'Man, I didn't have enough sex in my life. Another swinging couple, Bob and Tess, were college sweethearts.

They've been married 19 years, and five years into their marriage they decided to try the lifestyle. So you always have an innate curiosity about 'How would another woman feel? Swinging was Tess' idea. She heard about it from a girlfriend and was intrigued.

She figured their relationship was strong enough to give swinging a try. Won't they look back at their lives and feel that they ruined the intimacy they had with each other by story sex with all these other people? It's made us much stronger over the years," said Bob. Bob and Tess don't believe that. Sex is sex. It's just natural to be attracted to people, to other people.

I mean, that's just nature. And we decided one day not to suppress nature," Bob life. The first time Bob and Tess went to a club, they didn't participate. They just watched. That's common.

Often almost half of the people at the clubs are "soft swingers" -- they just watch, without having intercourse, according to the club owners and swingers we met. But watching had an impact on Bob and Tess at home. The couples we talked with weren't concerned about catching diseases.

They said everyone in the group uses condoms. Apparently, there are a lot of them.

About 4 million people are "swingers," according to estimates by the Kinsey Institute and other researchers. Swingers have become a multimillion-dollar travel industry, so be careful when you pick a family vacation spot. Watch out for code words like "clothing optional," "adult fun" and "couples only. There are also swingers' conventions that take over entire resorts.

Ing the swinger lifestyle with my boyfriend

Inside, thousands of couples play out sexual fantasies. When Gould was ased to write a news story about swinging, he assumed it would be all sleaze. He was surprised when he went to an elegant club. They believe in raising children in clean-cut, stable environments. They match our paradigm of the sunny suburbanite," he said. They are not going to a swing club to have sex with other people. They're going there to get hot for each other," Gould said.

Chris and Lavonne are new to the lifestyle. They've been married five years, and about a year ago decided they wanted to experiment. They checked out Web sites where thousands of people seeking strangers to have sex with can find one another. Brian and his wife run such a site, and it's very popular.

We have 70, per day that visit," he said. I would think men might pressure their wives into swapping.

But the women say they're the ones who are in charge. But it's the women that keep 'em in the lifestyle," Bob said.

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And it makes women more confident -- that they are the ones in charge," Tess said. The couples set up certain rules beforehand. Some couples don't do anything without the other. Some couples don't kiss others.

'my husband left a condom and a note, and said 'have fun'.'

But don't the couples worry that their spouse will find they like someone else better? Those I talked to said no. They don't swing to go out and find a new wife," Chris said. They're so happy and unashamed of their swinging, they let us tape them. But that brings up a question: Do their kids know? Another swinging couple, Mary and Ray, have been married for five years. Their kids, from marriages, are 18 and They said the year-old son knows about their lifestyle, and they say he thinks it's just fine.

We spoke to a dozen marriage counselors about the lifestyle, and not one of them said don't do it. Most said consenting adults will do what consenting adults do. But they also said getting sexual thrills outside of marriage can threaten a marriage. But to sustain swinging as a lifestyle, it's going to pull at the fabric and the foundation of the marriage.

And that foundation is being faithful, that's what standing up on the altar is all about," said Dr. Scott Haltzman, a psychiatrist who specializes in marriage and couples counseling. But the swingers say they aren't cheating.

We're not living a lie," said Lavonne. The swingers claim their marriages are stronger because they don't have affairs and they don't lie to each other. It's all out in the open. But I'm going home with [Chris] no matter who I enjoy. I love him. I have my life with him," said Lavonne. Bob said the swinging has deepened his love for Tess. We'll notify you here with news about.

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