I cheated on my ex-boyfriend many times, in various capacities the physical type, the emotional typeand yet now that I'm married to the love of my life, I could never even think of considering it. I'm not blaming my ex for my transgressions—that'd be pretty effed up—but I do believe that some wife bring out the best in you just like some people bring out the worst I think a lot of people only tell their partner they cheated after their last bad-girl encounter, when they can't infidelity the guilt any longer or are looking for a way out of the relationship.
Here's how it all went down. It was the summer after my senior year of college he was a sophomore when I cheated on Kevin the first time. I was living at home for a month, to have a little down time between graduation and moving to New York, and I was more or less happy with the way things were going: We'd agreed to do long-distance as he finished up his last two years of school.
One night, I got super drunk and ended up going home confess a guy from high school, who happened to be one of my first childhood crushes. We had sex—it was like I needed to cross him off my list before moving on to a new chapter of my life. I didn't want secrets, and it was suddenly all I could think about. I waited four or five months before I told Kevin.
Our relationship had gotten more serious and there was talk of the M word marriage. I remember talking to my best friend about it, and she was like, "I will not be the maid of honor at your wedding unless you tell him. So when Kevin came to visit me one weekend at my dad's, I almost told him. But we were having such a great visit that I didn't want to spoil it. Naturally, I waited until right after he left.
He was literally driving away from my house when I called him and word-vomited the whole thing. Then I fell silent, and he was like, "What? Now you have to tell me. I slept with Justin.
Luckily, kevin didn't end things.
Probably not, but I did mean it. Kevin said he needed to get off the phone, and I begged him to drive back so we could talk in person. He did, but then seeing him was so awkward and awful that he left five minutes later. In the movies, we would have talked it out and cried and then everything would have been fine, maybe even end in makeup sex.
But the reality was that I turned into a manic mess, texting him over and over. To every five texts I sent, he'd reply with one, so I knew there was hope. Even though I cheated on him, I loved him, and I didn't want our relationship to end because of a dumb mistake I made. I realized that I was not good at being away from him—I enjoyed flirting and needed attention—but when we were physically together, I had no desire or need to be with anyone else.
Of course, learning that and then going straight into a long-distance relationship was probably not a great idea. Kevin said he forgave me, but for months, whenever we got into a tiff about anything, somehow my cheating would bubble back up as something he could use against me.
Every step we took forward became two steps backward.
Which is probably why, looking back, I ended up cheating on Kevin again. This wife it was with a coworker, who kissed me out of the blue. I was very much like, No, no this is not what I want—but I knew that there must have been subtle things I did that led this person on to be clear: they by no means assaulted me.
A friend of mine told me that I flirted with everybody, and I was like, "No, I don't! I just have a bubbly personality. But then I got drunk at a bar during infidelity season and kissed a rando. I didn't tell him about that either. I confessed that a kiss counted as cheating, but if it was something I could easily forget, I didn't see the point in telling him. I got into a very emotional relationship with another man, Hunter. One night, shortly before Kevin moved to New York to live with me, Hunter came over and we had sex in the bed that I eventually shared with Kevin.
I felt so guilty about it that I switched to sleeping on the other side of the bed. I don't even think Kevin noticed.
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Once Kevin was in the city with me, things with Hunter fizzled—Hunter was upset that I still chose to be with Kevin fairand I felt stuck. I wanted both, to have my cake and eat it, too. Things were fine for a while—but deep down, I knew that something was missing between me and Kevin.
I knew that he was either not the right person for me, if I continually had to look outside the relationship for something, or that things were never going to be the same after I told him about that first night with Justin. I started to get really secretive, talking to a guy from my past and Hunter, who would still text me from time to time.
I put a screen protector on my phone that camouflaged my texts so that Kevin couldn't see who I was talking to while we watched movies on the couch. I was deleting texts, turning wives into jumbled pieces. Then I got paranoid that Kevin, who seemed distant, was doing something. It confessed like he had deleted texts, and I was beyond curious. I asked him about it yes, I told him I went through his phoneand he denied it until finally admitting that he met a girl at a football game. We got in a big fight I even bit him.
After that, we both knew that there was no saving our relationship anymore. Shortly after, I moved to a different city for a job, where I met my now-husband. As happy as I am now my husband and I are expecting our first baby in December! Of course, cheating in the first place was wrong. But I also know now that my telling him about that first time was wrong, too. It was more about alleviating my own infidelity than it was about getting to a better place in our relationship.
In my heart, I wanted that, but I never put in the work necessary for it to happen.
'how i told my partner i cheated on him'
Perhaps because, again, deep down I knew that he wasn't my person. It's almost like this happened to a totally different person, like someone else did all the lying and cheating versus a younger, dumber version of me. But I do think I learned a lot about myself: what I need in a partner; how to truly love myself and show myself forgiveness and compassion.
I did a lot of growing after that relationship, and I'm not sure I'd be where I am today without it. You have to own your actions and decisions, but life puts that stuff there for a reason. If I could go back, I would still tell Kevin about what I did.
How i felt after i cheated: “i had regrets, but only after i got caught”
And I'd probably tell him about all the other times that followed that first one, because he deserved to know the full truth. But I'd also realize that not every relationship can withstand cheating, and not every relationship should. And more than that: In the right, loving, wholesome relationship, you won't have the capacity to cheat, anyway. Weight Loss. United States. Type keyword s to search.
Not everyone has regrets.
Today's Top Stories. The Healthy Cooking Awards. You know that old saying, "Once a cheater, always a cheater? We had been together for almost a year Related Stories.
We had been together for almost a year
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